Side of Ranch mega FAIL

Maddi and I went out for lunch:

Me: I’ll have a small pepperoni pizza. Oh, and can I get a side of Ranch dressing with that?

Waitress: Sure.

She starts to walk away and then comes back with a weird look on her face.

Waitress: Um. I can’t give you a side of Ranch dressing.

Me: Uhhhhhh, what?

Waitress: Well, we buy the Ranch in bulk, and it comes in a big container and I can’t bring that out here. Can I put it in a small plastic dressing cup?

Me: That sounds like an excellent idea.

Waitress: Awesome, Ok.

That happened.
In real life.
No joke.

She walked away super proud that she solved my Ranch dressing dilemma. I sat there for a bit thinking, WTF? Did I actually hear all that correctly?? Sadly, she was at least in her mid-twenties, so we can not even blame her age or lack of experience with, well … anything at all.

I’m STILL trying understand what the fuck she thought “a side of Ranch dressing” meant. I mean, I certainly cannot be the only person who has ever asked her for a side of something. Maddi ordered chicken fingers and SHE asked if she wanted a SIDE OF HONEY MUSTARD … Are they not the same thing?

No, they are not.
Because they buy the Ranch in bulk.
Which seriously complicates matters apparently.

So I created this informative poster for restaurants to have in the back area, near the other informative posters that explain in both words and visuals commonly misunderstood requests, so that other cranially challenged waitresses can understand that a kiddie pool of Ranch dressing is NOT considered a "side":


At least she has her killer eye liner and fake lashes to fall back on… oh and her mad problem solving skills.